champangne for my real friends, pain for my sham friends

The cutting my hair or shaving it idea hasn't gotten out of my head yet. So, since that has happened, I am now going to do one of those numbers to my head. Not sure which one yet, we will see. I'm nervous though. I don't usually get nervous about what people think about what I do but this time yeah I do. Nobody wants to get called dyke or get automatically labeled manly or lesbian when you're into guys and you like girly stuff. At the same time, I don't really care but I just don't feel like dealing with shit from assholes. I think thats what it is. I'm not scared of getting hurt. It would only hurt if someone I cared about said something thats supposed to be hurtful.

I probably talk about music entirely too much but I'm listening to the mountain goats right now and hes talking about like what hes doing without his significant other, and it reminds me a lot of my situation for the past few months. So many new old experiances. You get so accustom to doing things with that person that doing things without them is excruchiating and painful sometimes. I didn't go to church for about a month and a half because of all that and when I did I basically sobbed privately in the preschool bathroom for three fourths of the service. But all the big hurdles are over for me. I'm glad I was strong enough to suck it up and stick it out. Its brought so many wonderful people and feelings and memories. I still wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Not even close.

Wondering what aliens are thinking about right now when they're using their super cameras to look through windows. Or brain radios to listen to what minds are thinking. Maybe they're nocturnal. I'd rather look at the moon instead of the sun myself. Well, if I had a choice to look at the sun without going blind that is. I would also rather have clouds and rain rather than heat and sun. I'm not "goth" I swear. Just opposite. I wouldn't quite say unique. Because ironically, everyone is unique.

I find myself wishing I didn't worry about zombie attacks all the time. During the day I worry about that. Then at night I worry about an "I Am Legend" freak jumping up on my roof, smashing through my window, and instantely killing me and my dogs.

Now you don't wonder why I have insomnia.

google

I talk wayyyy too much and think too much too. I've just noticed they past few days. I'm not overpowering, but maybe I need to let others come up with cool shit to say rather than just me. "Just sayin" I'm seriously considering chopping a decent amount of hair off and shaving some too. Some might think thats gross, but I'm sick of looking normal and my abnormal hair color is just not enough. I feel boring. I think more people should be impulsive in this way, it would make the world more interesting to look at, don't you think? I'm listening to old fall out boy and its putting me in a great mood. Like a I want to get shit done mood. Or like makeout with someone? It seems freakish to me and I'm the one that actually feels that way. My brain is falling out of my ears little by little I sweearrrr. Hell on ice!

Its really nice to hang out with Jessyka again. Toodles

I never want to leave when I do, I never want to leave when I do. Everytime I leave you cry stay by my side.

I am listening to such beautiful music lately. Check out the song below, its by Good Old War and its exceptional. Moving on though, I've been SO HAPPY lately. I think its because I've started to face the facts. Those being that I am likeable, nobody really hates me, and because of this I am talking to a lot more people. Which is just awesome. I love everybody in my life right now. I might even have a legit liking for somebody, but I don't trust myself with that quite yet so we'll see. People-wise, its going good. School-wise, I hate it and its tiring but I'm passing and on my way to graduate. Which is awesome. Then I can start my real life.

A few random things happened to me today. Firstly, I had Ronald Mcdonald hair unintentionally today. I thought it was the worst thing in the world and that I should put a bag over my head, but it turned out better than I thought. I kind of hope it stays beastly. But if I calms down I won't be too upset either. Then I unintentionally demolished a rat brain, which I never thought I'd do unless I turned zombie, but even then it would be human brains. I also found myself in a pickle for my journal entries, so I somehow came up with the topic of human hygenine. Letting my teacher know that Marie Antonettes husband only took a bath twice in his life and I also went on to wonder who invented gum if they didn't even care enough about their hygenine, who needs fresh breath to get freaky with the royals!



Oh baby you should know I trust you.
And baby you should know I miss you.
But everytime you leave i cry,
Stay by my side.

Just because I've gone away,
Doesn't mean I'll be gone forever.
Theres a point in our love,
From across the world.

I never want to leave when I do (don't walk away)
I never want to leave when I do (stay with me)
Everytime I leave you cry
Stay by my side.