There are so many awkward situations that I can conjure up in my brain right now that could happen. Awkward situations are usuallly funny to me and I even make things awkward sometimes to laugh about it later, but this is not funny at all. This is painful.
I will never conform for so many various reasons but the biggest one is this: it doesn't allow me to be with the people I want to be with. I would have been with you by now for maybe even a few years if I didn't let my dumb friends tell me you weren't cool. If I didn't swallow their words and let them sit in my stomach instead of letting them go to my brain so I could think of you in my own way, we would have been together. We would have been great with each other. I let the rumors get to me. I let doing "whats right" stop me from leaving him to get to you. I regret this so much. I will forever be different, whether you like it or not.
I saw a lot of rich bitches in the Novi mall today, boys and girls, and it made me feel sick about society for the hundreth time this week.
I did get to people watch though, which was fun. I'm thrilled about this week and hanging out with friends and getting to fufill my weird sleeping habits without having to worry about stupid LATEC and school in general.
Night terrors are the scariest things for the people who experiance them. Recently, I've learned my dad had them in his late teens through his early twenties, and now I have them. Its so bad that I get out of bed screaming bloody murder and I've even tried to jump out of my window in my sleep.
I figure this is yet another reason I don't sleep at night. Awesome. Goodnight.
YEs, Your father did have the bad dreams- as did one of my brothers- but he also had terror going up the steps to his bedroom. He had to make a running start to see how long it took him to get to the top of the stairs. The mind is a funny thing and while the terror is really there one has to remember that it is usually self-induced, dont you think?. When I get afraid of something I always do " the worst case scenario" trick whereby I think of three things that could happen to me and I deal with the "worst" of them by thinking of three "best solutions". I havent always chosen the "right "solution though LOL but I have found that this has held me in good stead throughout my life journey. You will find your own "tricks" to cope with life. The subconscious is a powerful thing but it is a coping mechanism after all. Love you
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