mark my words

whether its water from the sky or water from my eyes,
you're always in my brain and always wanted through your lies.
I'm seeing the way you hate me and the way they all stare.

I'm feeling the lies through your lines.
Like death chills your spine.
You'll never come back to that but you'll come back to me.

ruined.

I don't believe in love, so don't try to make me fall for your amber eyes.

My hearts literally cold even for my friends nowadays. I can't stand it when people utter the words "I love you, " to me. You don't know whats in my mind and if you did you wouldn't "love me."

Secretly, I'm hoping you'll show me what it really is, but until then, I don't believe in love. People are interesting, and I love them but they don't love me. Thats how it is for now.

wasted

I CANNOT BELIEVE I WASTED ALMOST HALF MY ADOLESCENCE ON YOU.

You are not even worth the grime off the bottom off my shoe. Your new skank shows me your hypocrisy. I could always see right through you, its disgusting that I thought I was in love. I'm so mad at myself.

favorite things

my constellation/star sign.

me and my twin are hot, I know.

I did this in my English class today, in front of everyone.

Dig it.

the northern lights, both of these are in canada.

the moon is so beautiful.

the boys in my trio/band are really the only ones that

will ever be good enough to me to even consider dating.

ok go! enough said.

acceptance and rejection

I can't wait until this week is over. I just want to crawl in a hole and die already. List of things that probably make me a sad person/list of things that probably shouldn't happen:

1. If someone ever learned some Buddy Holly for me, played guitar and sang awesome along with it, I'd automatically hop into bed with them.


2. I laughed during the whole church service today and couldn't take anything they said seriously AND kept making dirty jokes in up in my head about the whole service.


3. No matter how hard I try, I always fall for artists and muscians. Its gross.


4. Sometimes I go to the bathroom but not really GO to the bathroom or have a cigarette just to be by myself when I'm with other people.


5. I don't facebook creep, I youtube creep.


6. I've been in love with the same guy since fifth grade, and hes not a celebrity.


7. I hate everyone today.


8. I think spitting on people I hate is okay, when really thats not okay in any circumstance.


9. I like hearing myself sing, when I'm in the car by myself I don't even turn the radio on. I just sing.


10. This blog.

Yep, this weekend was messed up.

True Love Ways - Buddy Holly ( Cover )

I said that.

"Theres nothing more attractive than a no bullshit attitude, but a sense of humor is something you need to get you through life too, you know?"

save your own skin.

the complexity of your body on mine, the feeling of holding my breath until the end of time. inhale in the black smoke of your lies, inhale in the clean air of your smiles, exhale the words all spill out, exhale more they go from your ears to the floor.

I've got your letter, you've got my song

Heres the "low down on my life" :

1. I am realizing how hard growing up actually is. I don't like it but I'm going to try to push forward and get through highschool so I can live up to my potential in college.


2. I have had so much drama in just this week I've literally thought about throwing myself down a flight of stairs multiple times. I hate bitch problems and girls. Call me butch, but I love boys SO much more.


3. I lost a huge check. I'm so pissed at myself. My dad blames it on me not going to church and not being "strong in my faith". I blame it on me being a dumbass and not having a purse with a zipper on it.


4. I also managed to loose my glasses, hence why I'm so pissy this week, I CAN'T SEE A DAMN THING. Not cool, ever.


5. I spit on someone today. I've never felt so alive and nasty in my life.


6. LAST THING TO LOOSE THIS WEEK HOPEFULLY, one of my degus is on the loose. Shes either dead or running around outside somewhere. So if anybody wants a cute little critter, let me know. I might just give the remaining one to the library if Tilly doesn't come back, she is so sad alone.

I'm also falling for some weird ass with an awesome vibe and smile. I am still considering just doing crap and not getting into a relationship though. I run, I hide and I run some more, again.

Being vague and honest are my two best qualities as of now.

I dyed my hair again, not because I got bored, because I actually hated having blonde hair. Oh yeah, and to piss my mom off. I love her to pieces but I don't like my blonde hair.

My social life is STILL stressing me out and giving me chin zits, not cool.